Fifty-Seven ... a great year

Originally published September 23, 2019

Fifty Seven. I've been 57 years of age for 2 days now. (Notice I didn't say 57 "years old".) I am not old. As the song goes ... "I've only just begun".

Hard to believe right? Could I really be 57? My birth certificate says I am. I had to check ... and did the math. Yep, 57!

So I really have been on this earth 57 years, and it's been quite the journey so far. My journey. A journey that has been filled with the most beautiful and awe-inspiring and heartfelt moments; and it has also been scattered with some heartbreak, struggle, anger, and at times, even hopelessness.

In this past year, I have worked hard to embrace who I am, in all my brilliance - and my tarnished bits too. I'm even embracing the gray hair and the wrinkles - and I like it.

I read this yesterday. "Wrinkles mean you laughed, gray hair means you cared and scars mean you lived." Well, I'd say I've done that, and am doing all of that - every day now.

Who I am today, is a result of every mile of my journey, but mostly who I am is the direct result of who I have "CHOSEN" to be, AND who I have "CHOSEN" to become ... despite and because of all the experiences on my journey. It hasn't always been easy, and some days it still isn't! Life isn't about easy. At times my journey has even been downright ugly, scary, gutwrenching, and absolutely painful - for me. Yet, I have lived an amazing and beautiful life filled with richness. I am so grateful for every day, every person who has crossed my path, every heartbreaking and every joyous heart-full moment.

Many times along the way, I have had to stop, sit, and find myself in self-reflection. What is going on for me? What do I want for myself? What do I have control over? What don't I have control over? What am I responsible for? What must I own in my circumstances? What matters most to me? and how can I make change and create what is needed for me?

When my daughter Kaela was born, and diagnosed with a developmental disorder and visual impairment - I had to do this.

When two years later I was facing separation and divorce, with two young kiddos - I had to do this.

When I was trying to raise these two kiddos and earn enough money to be self-sufficient, without feeling reliant on their dad - I had to do this.

When I wanted to build my career in an industry led by men and the "old boys club" - I had to do this.

When I decided to step into a 2nd relationship and blend families with a total of 4 children - I had to do this.

When my kiddos grew and faced their own challenges; some I could help with, some I could not - I had to do this.

When my son Nicolas lost his way and I had to make the hard decision to provide tough love - I had to do this.

When I decided to end the 2nd relationship and disrupt the lives of 4 kids - I had to do this.

When I was facing the decision of leaving my long-time employer of 25+ years - I had to do this.

When I met Paul, my husband, and knew at that moment we were meant to be in this life together - I had to do this.

When Paul was diagnosed with IPF, and we decided to get married - I had to do this.

When I left the security of full-time employment (for the 2nd time) last year - I had to do this.

In all of these, great things have happened. Great things have happened because I found my voice and my choice.

Now, as I work on my coaching and end of life doula business - I am doing this.

As I walk with Paul on his journey with IPF, and the potential for Lung Transplant - I do this.

My point?

Life is a journey, and despite what happens to us, or around us, we have so much CHOICE in how we deal, and the actions we take to make our lives as rich as we choose for them to be. This is our life work. This is our journey. This is our responsibility to ourselves. Not to define our "purpose", or to be "successful", or to become "something" other than ourselves. Our life's work is to find ourselves and give ourselves the room to grow, to love, and be loved, to be at peace with who we are, and TRUST that no matter what comes our way - we will be okay. You will be okay.

Byron Katie says "Love what is". For me, this is key to finding gratitude, joy, and the blessing in everything my journey has brought me. There are many things we cannot change, but we have CHOICE in how we respond, and we can make change in many ways. We have choice, in changing perspective and taking action.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying life is full of rainbows and sunshine, although sometimes it most definitely is! and I am so grateful for those days! But on other days, life can be hard, and it can make our heart and soul ache in ways we have never imagined. It is on these days we most need to remind ourselves that we have CHOICE. Choice allows us the ability to feel all the feels - the good, the bad, and the ugly - AND still be able to take one step forward. Our vulnerability allows us to take one step toward gratitude, joy, faith, hope, and peace within. CHOICE - when we use it, gives us a whole new way to see, feel, and experience this journey called life. It certainly has changed the view on my journey.

In this next year, I have no doubt the road ahead for Paul and me will be a tough one. As we navigate the uncharted territory of lung transplant there will be potholes, speedbumps, wrong turns, and detours. There will be steep hills and sharp turns; and we will travel way too fast, and way too slow - all at the same time. I know there will be fear, anger; tears and laughter; rain and sunshine; gratitude and hope. We will be grateful to travel this road together in all of it, and I am certain that as scary as it may well be, it will be rich with love and our hearts will be full.

Fifty Seven. YES! It's a great time to be 57!

"... I've only just begun ..."

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About the Author:

Karen Hendrickson is an Elevation Coach, focused on helping others to rewrite their life story, befriend their mortality, and find the richness and magic that lives at the intersection of our lives where life and death meet. When we allow our authentic self permission to shine our life becomes full of MAGIC and GREATNESS

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What are you facing right now? What is uncomfortable for you? Where are you struggling, and where do you want to be? Are you ready to re-write your story, uncover POSSIBILITY and let your MAGIC shine? Contact Karen and get started today!